Exciting Disapointments

Well, God has tested me greatly so far this year at Word of Life. I began the year early on at R.A. training. I wanted the position of a student leader on campus. So I was accepted to the training and I came. I felt confident after my interviews and handbook exam that I was going to get the job. I didn't get it. However, I didn't let that get me down because I know I can still be a leader and God has even better things planned for me. So I moved on from that experience and tried to focus on the ministry that God had planned for me. Last year I was on the drama team and it was aweome, so I wanted a new ministry this year. As many of you know, I really have a passion and heart for praise and worship. So, I decided to try-out for praise team as my ministry. I also tried out for drama just incase I didn't get praise team. I made drama call-backs that did not go so well. I honestly was kind of relieved at that because I thought well maybe God doesn't want me on drama after all and He is gonna allow me to make the praise team. Well I made drama team before I even got a chance to try out for praise team. God took that away as well. Again, not a big deal for me because I love drama and hope to carry it into future ministries God gives me. So then I interviewed for the student lounge job here on campus as my service assignment. I really wanted this job because of it's atmosphere and experience I would gain in the area of customer service. God didn't give me that despite what I thought was a good interview. Instead, I recieved the job of sweeping ad mopping the dinning room and classroom floors. Once again, I tried to have an attitude of contentment because that is an easy job that isn't time consuming. As I swallowed my pride and moved on from those experiences, I applied to go on a Local Church Ministries Trip for the required missions trip this year. This is the kind of ministry I feel God calling me into, so I felt it was a great opportunity for me. I communicated my passion for reaching youth and my love for youth ministry to those in charge of assigning people to this particular trip. Today, I found out that I didn't get that either and am instead going to Hungary for my missions trip this year. I cannot lie, all of this piling up on me was disapointing and yeah it hurt a little bit. But I found out that the only thing it really hurt was my pride. Of which I am thankful because it is just what I needed. Here is my thinking: I had my plans for what I wanted to do this year. They were prayerfully considered (although not as much as I probably should have) and I thought they all were what God wanted for me. Needless to say when I looked at how I thought this year would fall into place, I was very excited. Now, as I look at the way GOD has articulated this year in ways that I didn't plan, I am overjoyed. I am overjoyed because I now know that God's will for me this year is being accomplished and no longer do I have to be unsure. And here is another thought, if what I wanted to happen this year seems exciting, think about how much more exciting God's plan will turn out to be. So that is why I called this blog exciting disapointments, because although in reality it is in fact a little disapointing, it is exciting because it is God's will and what could be better! So I covet your prayers as this year goes on and God continues to teach me. I truly believe that a part of all this whole situation is a lesson God is teaching me. That lesson is humility. Wanna know something better? That's only the beginning. God is going to shape and mould me this year into what He wants. I am willing to make sacrifices, and live open-handed to His will. My goal is God's will. I am going to start it this year by being open-handed. That is every single little tiny aspect of my life, being placed in God's hands. From relationships, to study, to time, to ministry, to family, to goals, to my future, to my very life. Yeah it is scary because His hands are consuming hands. Hands that will knock off the rough edges and that causes pain, but in the end, if I allow Him, He will shape me into a beautiful masterpiece for His glory, and not because of me, but because of Him! Now that's EXCITING!!!